


Monster

by KingsCrow



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-04 05:55:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14586438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingsCrow/pseuds/KingsCrow
Summary: "If I told you what I was, would you turn your back on me? And if I seem dangerous, would you be scared? "Catherine is a resistance fighter working undercover as a member of Eden's Gate, pretending to be converted while assisting the fall of Joseph's cult. Her original mission was a suicide mission to destroy John's compound with him inside. That all changes when Joseph suddenly decides to send her to the Whitetail Mountains. To Jacob Seed.





	1. The Mountain

“Every day I’m just survivin’,  
Keep climbing the mountain.  
Even when I feel like dyin’,  
Keep climbing the mountain.” –  
The Mountain by Three Days Grace

 

Despite all the awful things Catherine had done for the cult to prove loyalty, despite the torture she’d endured, she was still a prisoner. Throughout the day she’d be given tasks and free to roam most of John’s compound. But, when night fell, she was returned to a cell and locked in. The Seeds didn’t trust easily and John, in particular, got his kicks by fucking with people. It didn’t matter, though. The plan was still in motion and she was closer to completing it every day. Until Joseph’s latest visit, that is.  
“D-did I do something wrong, Father?” she stammered as he led her outside, his armed guard close by. Catherine didn’t have to fake the fear in her voice. This was the first time she’d breathed fresh air since John captured her. In her mind, there was no chance this little field trip was a good thing.  
“Not at all, child. I just believe you to be better suited elsewhere. I see potential in you that John does not.” Joseph explained, his soothing voice calming her fears a bit. Again, she was swiftly reminded how so many were convinced to follow him. She considered asking where she was being taken but figured that might be too bold a move to make with him. They were expected to have faith in Joseph, not question him.  
He helped her into the back of the van and then she was off. This was bad. She didn’t think she was about to be executed but now she couldn’t move forward with the plan. John’s compound would stay running, she was the best opportunity the Resistance had had to annihilate it. She couldn’t blow it up if she wasn’t there anymore. Catherine leaned her head back and made herself stay calm, she’d figure something out.  
\------------------------------

Cat had no idea how long she’d been on the road and no idea where she was. The windowless back of the van made sure of that. She knew they were on a road and that they didn’t stop for anything, probably traveling long enough to not be going to Joseph’s compound. Which meant she was being taken either to Faith or further north. She hoped to God, the real God, that she wasn’t being taken to Faith. If she became a strung out Angel for sister Seed then she wouldn’t be useful to the Resistance at all. None of these thoughts or fears mattered after a moment, though.  
There was a loud bang and then the van was rolling off the road, flipping on its side. Luckily she wasn’t handcuffed and able to keep too much damage from happening but her head still smacked the van wall. Then, she was rolling just as the van was, a helpless rag doll in a nasty crash. Certain she’d briefly blacked out, Cat came to hearing gunfire and feeling blood running out of her nose. The back door of the van was yanked open as she struggled to get up, a pistol suddenly thrust into her hands.  
“Listen carefully, we don’t have much time. Your mission has changed.” Said a man’s voice. Once her eyes focused, she knew who he was.  
“Eli?” she asked, her hands instinctively making sure the pistol handed to her was loaded.  
“You’re going north. To the Wolf. Someone else will take care of John, what you have to do is more important. Without Jacob, Joseph’s whole operation will fall apart. Get Jacob to trust you, to let you close. Then kill him. Do whatever it takes.”  
“Eli, hold on, I-“  
“There’s no time. Reinforcements are coming. Take credit for some of the dead Resistance, Jacob will appreciate that. Good luck, Cat.” With that, he was gone.  
Cat stumbled out of the totaled van and back up to the road. She quickly put two bullets in a dead Resistance member as Cult trucks pulled up. More than one voice was screaming at her to drop the gun and get down. Knowing how ruthless Jacob’s men were trained to be, and knowing those trucks had .50 cals mounted on them, she very easily decided to comply.  
“I’m one of you!” she yelled back while doing exactly what she was told, sinking to her knees. The yelling abruptly stopped and only one person approached her. She kept her hands up and head down, listening to each heavy boot stop the man made until he was right in front of her. Cat stared at the big boots and held her breath, momentarily scared she was about to be kicked. Whoever the guy was, just judging by the size of his feet he was a giant.  
“You must be my new toy.” He said. His voice was deeper than Joseph’s but just as soft, except for the ice cold tone. She kept her mouth shut as her heart raced, not sure she liked that particular phrasing.  
“Stand up.” He ordered. She slowly let out the breath she’d been holding and lifted her head as she stood. Lo and behold, she found herself in front of the one Seed she hadn’t met yet: Jacob. She knew he was physically the largest (and strongest) of the brothers but still hadn’t expected him to be this massive. It was like trying to stand face to face with a grizzly bear.  
“What’s your name?” he asked, for a moment she was too stunned by his cold, blue eyes to answer.  
“Cat…Catherine, Sir.” She stammered out, wondering how in the hell she was going to function enough around this terrifying man to complete her mission. After all she’d been through, Cat wasn’t scared of much. However, there was something instinctively intimidating about this man and it wasn’t just the stories she’d heard.  
“Alright, Kitty cat. Let’s go.” He said, grabbing her upper arm with one massive hand and pulling her back to his vehicle. She couldn’t have pulled away even if she needed to, his grip was pure iron.  
Catherine struggled at first then managed to force her brain to start taking notes on him. The patch on his sleeve was an Airborne patch, she was told he’d been in the Army. She’d been told he was a marksman so he was probably a sniper. He was the eldest brother, in his forties, which meant he probably served in Desert Storm and/or the Gulf War. He had to have been in active combat because on just his neck, face, and forearm he had an impressive amount of scars. Though, those could’ve been from the things he did at his compound, too.  
She was pulled out of her processing as he pushed her into the passenger seat of his Jeep. He swiftly slid into the driver’s seat and they sped off towards his compound.  
“Joseph seems to think I need a personal assistant. That’s why you’re here.” He explained, his eyes on the road. Cat wasn’t able to tell if he was always this surly or if he was sincerely agitated with his brother.  
“Why? You seem to handle things just fine yourself…Sir.” She knew she’d have to test the waters eventually, might as well do it now. He was known to have a dangerous, hair trigger temper and she wouldn’t know what pushed it until she did some testing. He pulled up to his building at the compound and parked before turning an amused gaze on her.  
“Awfully bold, aren’t you? I think I see why he really sent you to me.” He let out a low chuckle then got out of the car, motioning for her to do the same. While wondering what he meant, she filed away that he didn’t seem to be offended by boldness, almost as if he appreciated it.  
“What do you mean, Sir?” she asked, honestly curious as she stepped over towards him.  
“You have too much potential to waste but you’re too bold to be one of his breeders.” He explains, ignoring the shocked look on her face at hearing that tid-bit of information. Jacob grabs her by the arm again and uses his vice-like grip to steer her to the doctor of his compound.  
“Look her over for wounds, treat her, have her clean herself up, then send her to me.” He ordered before simply walking away.


	2. Lonely Is The Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Lonely is the night,   
> When you find yourself alone.   
> Your demons come alive,   
> And your mind is not your own..." - Lonely Is The Night by Billy Squire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much! I in no way whatsoever expected kudos AND reviews this quickly. You've lit a fire under me that I thought washed away a long time ago. I hope this next chapter keeps your interest!

Catherine had sustained no serious injuries from the crash and her nose was, luckily, not broken. The only wounds she had were ugly scars from John carving sins into her skin, but they were healed by now. No longer red, angry letters on pale skin. They didn’t even hurt anymore. In fact, she hardly noticed they were there except for during moments like these. Watching the hot water from the shower cascade down her once smooth skin reminded her of her new, permanent features.   
Her mind drifted from John’s nastiness and to the issues at hand. She wished she could just enjoy her first hot shower in weeks but she assumed it would be risky to let herself enjoy anything here. How was she going to do this? Faith’s weakness was never taking anything seriously, she’d have been easier to fool. John was very rash and impulsive with his decisions, plus he was playing soldier without any real training as a military leader. He’d have dug his own grave, was digging his own grave until she was pulled away. Joseph was hard to read but his weakness was his need to be worshipped, that she could’ve worked with and used as well. Jacob, though, was none of these things.   
All the Resistance, herself included, knew that Jacob was the strongest, most skilled, most deadly, most closed-off, and most fucked up of the Seed family. He’s the big brother which meant he was the protector during whatever fucked up childhood those three boys had. He not only had plenty of skill as a hunter but he was a decorated soldier and killing was instinctive to him. Unlike his younger brothers, he never showed emotion, other than anger. He was just cold and that’s how he always had control. John and Joseph had plenty of scars, yes, but Jacob’s scars were older. Jacob’s wounds were inflicted by others with intent to kill or just to brutally harm. His brother’s scars were inflicted by themselves as a sign of repentance and faith. Very, very different.   
So, again, how in the hell was she going to do this? Eli had said to do whatever it takes and she knew what that implied. But could she? Physically, yes. With the torture she’d already suffered it would be easy to lay back and let a man do what he wants and pretend she was enjoying it. But would he fall for it? Cat had a lingering fear that even if he was fucking someone that Jacob was the kind to have his fun then walk away. Not just no pillow talk or cuddling but a complete detachment unless it was purely physical. So would he fall for it? Would he let her in? Damaged or not, he was still a man. That should be enough, shouldn’t it?   
She forced her racing thoughts to quiet and got out of the shower, dressing in clean clothes. A simple pair of jeans, panties, bra, and a t-shirt. Before she’d taken two steps out of the make-shift hospital room, she was grabbed by one of the Cultists and led upstairs to Jacob’s room. Then, wordlessly, left there in the open doorway.   
It was a bedroom, office, and war room all in one. Not remotely surprising to Cat since Jacob acted like he was still at war. Technically he was but this was a different kind of war. He was moving thumb tacs to different spots on a map that was stuck to one of the walls, seemingly paying her no mind.   
“Here’s the deal, Kitty Cat. You’ll fetch me coffee, supplies, food, whatever I ask for. Keep this place clean and whatnot. When I’m awake, you had better be awake.” He said then finally turned to face her. She could see him better in here and he’d temporarily ditched his military overshirt, leaving him in his jeans and t-shirt, dog tags resting on his chest. Even more of his collection of scars were on display now.   
“Yes, sir.” She stated, inwardly cursing this new mission already. She’d graduated from warrior to maid. This was bullshit. She’d expected to at least be part of his guard (which she’d sorely discovered he didn’t really have a guard like his brothers did) or one of his soldiers. Not the goddamn servant. Some of her feelings must have shown on her face because he gave her an amused look, his head tilting ever so slightly.   
“Could be worse. You could be nothing more than a breeding bitch for Joseph.”   
“Yes, Sir.”   
“You’ve already proven that you’re somewhat strong enough. Now prove you’re obedient, Kitty Cat.”   
“I will, Sir.” She kept her expression soft but she was already starting to loathe that nickname. It distantly registered in her mind that he probably knew she hated being called that, which was probably exactly why he kept calling her that.   
“Good. Your room is directly next to this one. I don’t need anything at the moment and you should rest up. I won’t accept any excuses or lagging behind tomorrow.” He turned back to his map, which was good for her because his last sentence brought a scowl to her face. After a moment’s silence she assumed that meant she was dismissed and swiftly left the room, hurrying into her own and closing the door.   
Her new living quarters weren’t anything special but they were a hell of a lot nicer than a cell in a bunker. She had her own bathroom, privacy, and a bed. An actual bed, not a pillow thin cot on a concrete floor. After pulling off her new jeans and bra, she slid into bed in just her panties and t-shirt. If he was going to let her rest, she was taking full advantage of that. She couldn’t remember her last decent night’s sleep and had long ignored her body aching for it. After the sudden mission change, the crash, the frustration, the stress, and meeting her difficult new target, she was exhausted. Catherine was asleep only a few short seconds after her head hit the pillow. 

\--------------------------

Cat enjoyed a deep, dreamless sleep for a few hours until something woke her up. At first she wasn’t sure where she was, memory slow to come back to her. It was dark, the only light in the room coming from the moon through the window. She sat up and rubbed her tired eyes with a yawn, ready to go back to sleep until she heard what must have woken her up. It was a strange, sad noise. The sort of noise a wounded animal might make in its final moments. The noise was coming from the only other living quarters up here: Jacob’s room.   
Cat hesitated for a moment, not sure she wanted to know what was going on in the room next to hers. All sorts of nasty explanations flashed through her mind. Maybe he’d brought a prisoner up here to torture, maybe it was a weird sex thing, maybe he was killing an animal in his room. She let the disturbing thoughts flash through then heaved a sigh and got up, quietly stepping out to the hallway. If she was going to manipulate and then kill this man, she needed to know everything about him that she possibly could. Including what sorta weird shit happens in his room at night.   
She approached his closed door, setting her hand on the knob and slowly turning it. Very lightly, very quietly, she pushed the door open, grateful that there was no squeaking from the hinges. Peering in, she was surprised to find it just as dark as hers, no light other than the moon. The noise came again, nearly making her yelp as it startled her. There was no one and nothing else in his room. Now she knew exactly what was making that noise. The wounded animal was a wolf: him.   
Jacob Seed was fast asleep, still clothed, tossing and turning a bit as that sad sound rattled out of him. She knew what this was, she’d just never seen it in person before. Somehow, it surprised her to discover that he suffered PTSD nightmares. She knew she shouldn’t be surprised but everyone, including her, had this impossibly strong, powerful, terrifying image of him. Seeing the fearsome Jacob Seed so vulnerable like this was a shock. Like watching a wolf somehow morph back into being a newborn cub that needs to be protected and cared for. She finally felt like she could complete this mission, she finally felt like she had some sort of upper hand.   
Cat moved over to his bed as quietly as she could, knowing this was risky but it was all risky. She was seeing her first real opportunity to get close to him and was seizing it. Just as her hand was about to make contact with his chest, not to wake him but to soothe him, her foot bumped one of his heavy boots and knocked it over.   
Jacob was instantly awake and reacting in defense, assuming he was being attacked. In the blink of an eye, he’d grabbed her by that outstretched arm, flipped her, and pinned her on her back on his bed. She couldn’t have fought back if she wanted to, she wasn’t even aware a human being could react that fast and that effectively. One of his hands rested on her neck, applying just enough pressure to her windpipe to keep her from struggling. The other hand kept her wrists above her head, easily big enough to keep them both secured. His knees had instinctively gone between hers to keep from being kicked in the crotch. Sweaty from the nightmare, his dog tags dangling down, he finally registered who she was.   
“What the fuck are you doing in here?” he asks, a little breathless from the sudden kick of adrenaline. Cat just stares at him for a moment, her heart pounding so hard in her chest that she’s sure it’ll burst through.   
“I…I was trying to help.” She breathes out, her voice barely a whisper. This was not exactly how she imagined this first attempt would go. But now she had a completely different problem. What was making her heart pound so hard wasn’t just adrenaline and shock. His instinctive actions of defense and dominance had excited her.   
Problems need solutions, don’t they? This was much sooner than she’d expected or planned but it worked. Not only did it work, she wouldn’t have to fake being into it, at least not at the beginning. After a brief moment, she lifted her legs to loosely lock them around his waist. Her hazel eyes never once leaving his intense blues.   
“I could still help.” She whispered after locking her legs around him.   
Jacob tensed at the touch and sudden shift in the situation, his breathing hitching in his chest for a moment. He finally notices that she’s only in panties and a t-shirt. The expression on his face shifts from anger to something more like hunger as he starts to feel a stirring in his jeans.   
She watches him lean down like he’s going to kiss her and closes her eyes, waiting for the touch of warm lips and the tickle of a beard. Suddenly, just as quickly as he’d pinned her, he was gone. His warmth, his musky scent, no longer in her personal space. Cat opens her eyes to see him standing at the end of the bed, his hands on his hips and his chest huffing with heavy breaths.   
“Get out.” He orders, his voice oddly gruff.   
“Sir, I-“ she begins to try and explain or apologize as she sits up, finding herself missing that warmth and distant sense of danger that came from him looming over her. He interrupts her, however.   
“Out.” He’s not yelling, this is worse than yelling. His voice is still gruffer than usual but it’s the coldness in it that’s truly terrifying.   
Catherine wisely keeps her mouth closed and rushes back to her own room. Leaning back against the door after she closes it, she puts her hands on her head, fearing she’s just wrecked the entire mission. He was excited, though, wasn’t he? It had been a little while but she knew the tell-tale signs of arousal in a man. He had a few of them. The change in his voice, the heavier breathing even after the threat and call for action had dissipated. That look on his face, like he could’ve eaten her whole right then and there. So, why the hell did he throw her out?   
She returns to her bed and listens to him pacing, his boots obviously on for how loud they are, then he marches out of his room and it’s silent. She hates that part of her feels guilty for trying to take advantage of a hurting man. Worse than that, she sees him as a damaged man more than she sees him as the Big Bad Wolf. It was only the first night and she was already having more doubts than ever before.


	3. Li'l Red Riding Hood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hey there, Li'l Red Riding Hood,  
> You sure are lookin good.  
> You're everything that a big, bad wolf could want..." - Li'l Red Riding Hood by Sam The Sham And The Pharaohs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took longer than I wanted to finish this chapter. I hope you guys like it! Your reviews are my oxygen!

Jacob avoided her as much as he could manage. Which was extremely difficult since Joseph had made her his goddamn assistant. And he’d made the mistake of promising his little brother that he’d give her a chance to prove useful. All that forgiveness and mercy bullshit, of course. Still, he did what he could to remain distant. Even if all that meant was ignoring her when she brought him coffee or cleaned up any messes in his room.   
God, how he hated this. Unlike his brothers and Faith, he didn’t need or want company. Outside of barking orders or inflicting torture, he was much more content to be alone. Even worse than his space suddenly being invaded was that she now knew. He wasn’t stupid, she knew. The carefully kept secret about his nightmares, his weakness, wasn’t so secret now. He felt like an exposed, raw nerve. For that alone, he should kill her. However, day after day went by and she still breathed.   
He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t yet snapped her neck. Perhaps it was just his promise to Joseph. Perhaps he also saw potential in her, particularly in that boldness. Even the most loyal of the followers would never have approached him like that while he slept, wouldn’t have dared to step foot in his den. Even the most daring or horny wouldn’t have put their legs around him as his hand threatened their airway. Even more frustrating is that he almost gave in to that. He almost gave up control. How fucking stupid could he be?   
Jacob literally growls as he stands from his chair, stepping over to the full prisoner cage in front of him. One of the prisoners is pressed against the bars, reaching for a piece of bread that was dropped. The rest immediately scatter in the opposite direction as the Wolf approaches but this poor bastard hasn’t noticed yet. For that, he gets a vicious kick in the face from Jacob. The prisoner loses some more teeth and his nose becomes bloody mush as he drops unconscious.   
Catherine watches this whole exchange from a few feet away. Her confidence in this mission has steadily dropped since that first night, while her agitation has grown. She was daily taking care of this bastard and he was pretending she didn’t exist. It was a little hard to seduce someone when they took no more notice of you than the wallpaper. Of course she had to start from a distance, now, too. For as tense as he’d been since that night, he’d probably snap her in half if she got within reach to touch him again.   
She could barely sleep, which wasn’t helping her temper. Cat was pretty sure he was sleeping less, too. Also not a good thing. Of course, there was also the matter of the Cultist soldiers gawking at her. There was a vow of sexual abstinence that they all took but she knew that was a Joseph thing. Jacob didn’t care if they kept that vow or not and they knew it. They were simply required to face Joseph themselves if they were careless enough that he found out about it.   
The men had been openly eyeing her and making suggestive gestures. It made her blood boil. Just because she could now shower daily and didn’t reek like the other females didn’t mean that they could look at her like meat. If she was going to spread her legs for anyone here, it would only be Jacob. For the mission, obviously, only the mission. The heated dreams that kept invading her rare moments of rest meant nothing. Just memories of that failed first attempt, that’s all. The dreams going further than that moment or being different positions was just her stressed mind tormenting her, right? Right.   
Cat watched Jacob sit back down and then focused on filling her canteen with water. Until some stray, grubby hand grabbed her ass, that is.   
The frustration and anger all exploded out of her immediately. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew it wasn’t Jacob, or at least hoped it wasn’t since she was gonna lash out. So the fury was unleashed. She turned and bashed her half-full canteen in the guy’s face, breaking his nose with a sickening crack and then bringing up her leg to kick him in the balls. The moment that he leaned over, she grabbed the back of his greasy head and brought it down into her knee as she brought her leg up again. The Cultist dropped flat on his back, completely unconscious as blood poured out of his nose and a black eye started to form.   
Jacob had half turned to watch the exchange when he heard bone break as she slammed her canteen into the guy’s face. Brows raised just a little bit while she knocked the man on his ass. He stared at her for a long moment, waiting until she looked in his direction and then wishing that he hadn’t. The angry, wild look in her eyes was something he liked just a little too much. He let out a grunt and then stood up from his chair, moving so that he stood over the unconscious Cultist. All eyes were on them and he felt it.   
“Was there a reason for this or did you just feel the need for attention?” he asked her, the first words he’d spoken to her in weeks.   
“Not the kind of attention that gets some nasty hand on my ass.” She snapped back at him, alarm bells going off in the back of her head for using that tone with him. Especially in front of everyone. He turned like she didn’t say anything at all, motioning one of the other Cultists over.   
“Take him to the doctor, get everyone back to work.” He ordered then stepped over to her, grabbing her by the arm like he had the night they met.   
Jacob dragged her away, his vice-like grip giving her no choice other than to go with him. Was he going to lock her up somewhere? Beat her? Kill her? She knew she should’ve spoken a bit more respectfully but didn’t think her tone was that bad. No one moved forward to stop them, of course, Jacob did whatever Jacob wanted. That’s how things worked here. A panic began to swell in her chest, more and more certain with each step that he was taking her somewhere to really hurt her.   
“Where are we going?” she asked, the panic spilling out a bit and mixing with anger as she became defensive. He dragged her into the building and down to the basement, where he did his mind warping torture with that damn song. There was one desk and three chairs, all the chairs covered in straps and chains, facing the blank concrete wall for when he’d play his slideshows. He kicked the door shut and pushed her into the room some more, she found herself standing on an old bloodstain on the floor.   
“I’m having trouble figuring out if you’re bolder than the rest or just stupid. So which is it?” he asked, his tone cold but as calm as ever.   
“You tell me.” She replied, staring at the bloodstain under her shoes for a moment before turning her gaze entirely upon him.   
“No, that’s not how this works. I ask, you answer. Clear, concise responses. I don’t have time for games or anything else.” He replied, his gaze never leaving her.   
“Were you not excited that night? Not at all? I mean, you’re a man, aren’t you? Isn’t sex something that you crave?” she blurts out, figuring that if she’s down here, all bets are off. He’s either going to listen to her or he’s going to kill her. His upper lip arches in a brief snarl that sends a chill down her spine but she stands her ground.   
“Sex? This isn’t about sex.”   
“Isn’t it? When’s the last time you really wanted someone? When’s the last time someone really wanted you?”   
“Irrelevant. What is relevant is your behavior, your tone, your attitude.” He replies in nearly a growl, glaring at her.   
“Well, my behavior, tone, and attitude are a problem that can entirely be explained by lack of sex. How’s that for relevant?” she snaps back at him, folding her arms, partly wondering why she’s being so damn risky right now. He stares at her in silence for a long moment.   
“It wasn’t sex that you wanted, it was intimacy. Which is something that I cannot provide. I’d prefer to keep things entirely separate rather than border that line.” Jacob says, his hands on his hips as he watches her. He hates that she’s drawing this sort of honesty from him but, just the same, she should know.   
“How do you know what I wanted? You didn’t give me a chance to show you.”   
“Show me? There’s nothing you can show me that I haven’t already seen.”   
“Oh, you don’t know nearly as much as you think you do.”   
“Oh? Hm. Come here.” He ordered, motioning for her with one finger.   
“Why? So you can punish me for disrespect?” she asked, hesitating a bit before slowly moving over to him. As soon as she was within reach, he grabbed her by the neck and pulled her close, leaning down somewhat so that his face was in hers.   
“This is what you want? This nearness to death? Do you have any idea how easy it would be for me to crush your windpipe?” he asks, his forehead nearly touching hers, his thumb resting on the middle of her neck.   
“It’s you that I want.” She breathes out in response, her heart pounding hard against her chest. He stared at her for a moment, his expression impossible to read.   
“Well, tough shit. You’re too weak for me.” He replies in a slightly taunting tone as he shoves her away from him.  
Something about his words (and, yes, the rude shove) makes her see red. She snaps the way she did with the Cultist outside and, naturally, acts without a single thought for self preservation. Cat just steps forward, letting wrath consume her, and punches him in the face as hard as she can. Which, is fairly difficult due to him being a foot taller than her, but she manages well enough to draw blood.   
Jacob doesn’t even stumble but he does lean back a bit, not having anticipated that. His upper lip curls in a brief snarl and he lifts one hand to touch his bloodied lip with a finger. Cat is fairly sure that whatever comes next is going to swiftly lead to her death but she’s honestly too angry to care at the moment.   
“How’s that for weak?” she snaps at him, her right hand still balled into a fist.   
“That did nothing but prove my point. I’ve had elderly women hit me harder than that.” He retorts and, just to push her some more, starts laughing at her. He’s not sure why he’s pushing her. Actually, yes, he is. He’s highly amused by winding her up and watching her go. It’s also exciting him in another sense, a sense that he’s refusing to acknowledge at the moment.   
“You fucker.” She snarls at him, further enraged by his mocking laughter. Cat throws all caution to the wind and, getting a running start, dives at him. He was prepared this time, however, he bumps back into one of the chairs and they both land on the floor.   
Straddling him, Cat starts trying to throw punch after punch at his face. He takes one of them, which will later result in a nice bruise on his cheek bone, but then grabs her wrists with one massive hand. His other hand pushes her off of him and as she lands on her back, he’s already on his feet again. Jacob spits some blood onto the floor, adding to the collection, and begins laughing again.   
“You really shouldn’t start fights you can’t finish, Kitty Cat.” He teases, watching her with an infuriating smirk.   
“Don’t fucking call me that.” She snaps at him, getting back on her feet and balling her hands into fists again.   
“Why? What are you gonna do about it?” He runs his tongue over his bloodied lip briefly and waves his hands in a ‘bring it on’ motion. It registers somewhere in her mind that he’s having fun. This isn’t a punishment or an execution, at least not yet. Any other time, she’d have filed that away as a win. As for right now, it just adds fuel to her fire.   
Cat charges at him again, planning on pounding at his midsection rather than trying to tackle this time. The instant that she reaches him, he snags her wrists again. She growls at him and kicks at the side of his knee with all she’s got. It nearly buckles and instead of laughing, this time he growls right back. Cat braces herself to land on the floor but instead, she’s lifted through the air and lands hard on her back on the desk rather than the concrete.  
Without a moment’s hesitation, his hands move to the front of her jeans and tug, snapping the button off and breaking the zipper. She stares up at him for a moment, recognizing that same hungry look in his cold eyes from the first night she was here. Only this time, it’s him initiating. She reaches up and grabs his dog tags, using those to pull herself into a sitting position and shove his military shirt off of his shoulders. He growls at her as she does so, a wolf giving a clear reminder of who the alpha in this situation is, then he tears her t-shirt open.   
Cat slides the remains of her shirt off as he pulls his t-shirt off. Her assumptions were right, covering all of that hardened muscle was a massive collection of scars. She leans in and bites his collarbone, surprised but pleased when she hears a groan instead of a growl this time. She tilts her head just a bit so that she can bite at his neck, until he grabs her by the hair and pulls her head back, that is. He leans in and devours her lips in a hungry kiss, groaning into it. There’s an exchange of blood with the saliva but Cat finds she likes that. She trails her hand down the sweat-slick hair on his abdomen but just as her fingertips touch the buckle of his belt, the door bursts open.   
“Sir, there’s an attack at our southernmost outpost and…oh…” blurts the Cultist, trailing off once he sees what he walked in on.   
“I told you to knock, dumbass.” Calls out another Cultist that’s still on the stairs, out of sight, always respectful of his master’s space.   
Jacob, who had already hastily broken the kiss and stepped away when they were interrupted, immediately marched over to the first man. He pulled his hunting knife from its sheath and stuck it right in the man’s chest, through the heart. Cat couldn’t find it in her to feel sorry for the guy at all, more than anything she was overwhelmingly frustrated about the interruption. For the mission, for the mission. Not because she really, really wanted him. Not because she instinctively knew he could scratch that itch between her legs. Just the mission, of course.   
“That’s what happens when you don’t knock.” Said Jacob, glancing at the Cultist on the steps who wasn’t remotely surprised by the fate of his buddy. Jacob grabbed his t-shirt off the ground and yanked it on then his military shirt, making sure the Cultist waited as he moved towards Cat again.   
“Go upstairs. I’ll be back.” He stated, not quite giving an order but Cat knew it wasn’t a request, either. He then marched out with the Cultist to heart what all was happening and tell everyone how to respond. Leaving Cat, of course, to try and figure out how in the hell she was going to get upstairs without anyone seeing her basically naked due to her torn up clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled to figure out how I wanted the last part of this chapter to go and so I figured why not be an evil writer and string it out, leave everyone frustrated? :P


	4. Kill4Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Let's grab a gold switch blade  
> And make us a blood pact, babe  
> To love and to fuck and to only see ourselves..." - Kill4Me by Marilyn Manson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it took me so long to finish this chapter. I was fighting with how I wanted it to go. 
> 
> Warnings for smut and violence. Would you expect anything else?

Cat had scurried back upstairs as quickly as she could and replaced her torn clothes with some intact ones. Hopefully, no one saw her. Once changed, she went to Jacob’s room, assuming he’d expect her to wait there. She paced around his room, unable to sit still. The first step of her mission was a success, no doubt about that. He wanted her just as much as she wanted him. That wanting on her part might be a problem later but for now, she was using it to her advantage. 

After almost an hour, Cat got tired of pacing and decided to lay on his bed while she waited. It was softer than she’d expected. The coy nest had the scents of wood, grass, dirt, all parts of Jacob’s musk. Despite how little he used it, the bed smelled exactly like him and only him. Even down to light whiffs of his sweat on his pillow, probably from his nightmares. Before she had the chance to register being tired, Cat was asleep, curled up in the middle of Jacob’s bed. 

The attack in the south of Jacob’s region hadn’t been the deputy, just random Resistance fighters. His soldiers had killed most of them and those left had fled. Jacob had had to stay a while and assess the damage. It wasn’t too large a mess, which just further agitated him about having been interrupted for this. 

When he finally returned home, it was well past nightfall. The moon was high in the sky, partly obscured as some clouds rolled in. Jacob marched upstairs to his room, finding the lamp at his desk on and nothing else. Until he looked over at his bed, that is, where Cat was curled up and sound asleep. He quietly closed his door and stepped over to the bed, watching her for a few moments. He had a sudden urge to lay down and curl his larger frame around her but suppressed it. Instead, he sat on the edge of the bed and took his boots off. 

“Wake up, Kitty Cat.” He ordered, raising his voice a bit to make sure she’d hear him. 

“Hm?” Cat mumbled, slowly moving to sit up and rubbing her eyes. She let out a yawn then fully woke up as she watched him stand. 

“We need to talk.” Says Jacob, sliding his military shirt off. He then leans against the wall near the bed, arms folded and watching her with those cold, blue eyes. 

“Okay…I mean-yes, Sir.” She replies, wondering if she should also stand. He hasn’t told her to so she must be fine where she is. 

“I want to make a few things abundantly clear about you and I.” 

“Like what?” 

“First and most importantly, I don’t share. I don’t care if all we’re doing is fucking, what’s mine is mine. Got it?” 

“I’m not even slightly attracted to anyone else here.” 

“It’s a yes or no answer.” He nearly growls at her. 

“Yes, I got it.” 

“Number two, I’m in charge. Just because my balls might be in your hand while blowing me doesn’t mean you call the shots.” He explains, his tone lighter this time. 

“Back in the 1950s, are we? I’m not sure I’ve quite got that one.” She replies, giving him a dirty look. He continues as if she hasn’t spoken but she does see his brief smirk in response. 

“Thirdly, this is private. You don’t go bragging about it because it’s nobody else’s business and we don’t want Joseph finding out.” 

“Okay, that one’s fair. Anything else?” 

“Yeah, can you get pregnant?” Jacob’s tone as blunt as his question, obviously not caring if it was a sore topic. Cat felt like the ground had dropped out from beneath her. 

“Fucking excuse you?” she snapped at him, moving from the bed to stand. Buried emotions and memories from her failed marriage, which seemed as though it was from another life, rose up in her. The pain that had smothered the woman she was before the Cult came around and took over, changing everything. 

“You heard me.” He calmly replied. 

“No, the answer is no. I fucking can’t.” Cat answers then marches around the bead, headed for the door. The Seeds were all about family. Hell, Joseph apparently had a harem to spread his literal seed. Jacob probably wouldn’t want her now, would find her to be useless. The idea that he’d want to keep her as his own breeder had never crossed her mind. She knows she should’ve lied but her emotions got the best of her at the sudden question. 

Before she could reach the door, Jacob’s massive hands grabbed her and pulled her around so that her back was pressed to the wall. He wasn’t pressing against her but he was in her personal space. When she lifted her angry and hurt gaze to his, she was surprised to find him not even slightly upset. 

“That’s a good thing. I don’t want any little, bastard spawn of mine running around.” He said, Cat’s expression softened as she detected a hint of self-loathing in him. 

After a moment’s hesitation, she moved her hand to rest it on the middle of his chest. A look of uncertainty crossed his scarred features but he didn’t move, his blue eyes watching closely. Cat moved her other hand up to slowly slide her fingers through his auburn beard. Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t soft. It was coarse like the fur of a wild animal. Jacob cleared his throat lightly, tensing somewhat at the gentle touches. 

“Don’t.” he blurts out, pulling his head back a bit. 

“Why? Let me take care of you. That’s what I’m here for, right?” she asked in a soft voice, reaching to set her hand on the side of his face again. He let her just gently touch him for a moment then grabbed her wrists, fully pinning her to the wall. 

“I don’t make love, I fuck. Understand? Lust is strong despite being a sin. Love is weak.” He explained in a low voice, keeping his face close to hers. She wasn’t sure if he really believed that or simply refused to surrender to the vulnerability that affection brings. It didn’t matter yet, she’d have plenty of time to explore that later. 

“Fine.” She said before leaning in and biting his lower lip hard. Jacob responded with a growl and lifted her off her feet. In a blink, Cat was in the air then her back hit the mattress. 

She released his lip and grabbed at his t-shirt, tugging at it until he yanked it off and tossed it away. He used this moment to also pull her pants and panties away, flinging them to the floor. Already panting softly, Cat sat up and removed the rest of her clothing to prevent this outfit from being ripped up like the other one. She tried to scoot back on the bed but he grabbed her leg to keep her where she was. 

“Eager Kitten, aren’t you?” asked Jacob, a sly grin on his face and a wolfish glint in his eyes. 

“You’re the one who started rushing…” 

“Don’t forget who’s in control, sweetheart.” He replied before sliding his other hand up her leg slowly. The rough, calloused skin caused goosebumps to rise on her soft thigh. He took his time caressing towards where she needed attention the most. Finally, she felt his fingertips tease her damp folds, a soft gasp escaping her. He leaned over her more, his dog tags now dangling just above her skin. 

“All this for me?” his voice softer, that Southern tint to it a drawl now. His fingertips immediately ceased teasing her folds when she failed to answer. 

“I asked you a question, Kitten.” He states, a firmness returning to his tone. Somehow, the total lack of contact is worse than the teasing and she barely suppresses a whine.

“Only you.” She replies, too distracted to notice the significance of using those exact words. 

Jacob’s hand immediately returns and now he pushes a finger past her folds to rub along the wet flesh. She gasps again the first time his digit slide across her clit. Finally, she can’t wait for permission any longer and moves her hands to his scarred skin, feeling along his shoulders and chest. He doesn’t punish her for it and seems to welcome, almost desperately, the physical contact. 

“Good girl.” He praises in that soft drawl and she’s surprised to find she very much likes hearing that. Her hands move down his abdomen, through the soft hair, then grip his belt. Before she has a chance to unbuckling it, he’s pushing one long finger into her heat, drawing a moan out of her. She gets her hands moving again and finally opens his jeans, hurriedly pushing them and his boxers off of his hips. Before she could do anything else, he swiftly removed his finger and used his hands to roll her over. 

“Hands and knees, kitten.” He ordered, stepping out of what’s left of his clothes. She briefly considered refusing but knew if he didn’t have the upper hand this time that there’d be no next time. So, she scooted forward a bit and moved up as she was told to. His hand returned to ease her back into the moment. He now, surprisingly gently, pushed two fingers into her wet heat, earning himself a loud moan. 

Cat distantly felt him settle on his knees behind her but was much more focused on the skilled motions of that big hand. His fingers steadily pushed, pumped and curled just right while his thumb rubbed her bundle of nerves. 

“Think you’re ready for me, Kitten?” he asks, voice low and rough, hand never stilling its motions.

“Yes. Please, yes.” Cat blurts out, rocking her hips back with his hand. 

“That’s my good girl.” He replies, pulling his hand away and moving closer. One of his hands gripped her hip while the other slowly slid down her back. She let out a shaky breath at the oddly soft touch, the sweet spot between her legs aching and throbbing. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll take good care of you, Kitty Cat.” He practically purred the words in that low drawl. 

Unable to wait any longer, he lined up his hardened cock, rubbing it against her wet flesh before starting to slowly push in. An animalistic noise, almost like a growl, rattled out from deep in his chest. Both of his hands clutched her hips with the same white-knuckled grip she had on the sheets. Cat didn’t think about the bruises she’d surely have, she was too preoccupied with the feeling of him slowly stretching her. 

“Oh, fuck, Jacob.” She whined the words. He surprised her yet again by leaning down and nuzzling against her neck. His hips kept their slow pace and didn’t still until he was pushed in most of the way. Cat steadily adjusted and enjoyed the extra sensations of his hot breath on her neck and beard tickling her shoulder. As she started to move her hips back and grind against him, one of her hands reached to grab the back of his head. She pulled him into a kiss before he could stop her, her lips pressing hard to his as he moaned. 

Jacob returned the kiss for a moment then pulled back, giving her a bite on the shoulder for her actions. Cat groaned at the bite as she rocked her hips slowly back against him. 

“I thought you were gonna be a good girl.” He states, breathless as he moves upright on his knees again. Before she can answer, he gives a sudden rough buck of his hips. 

“Fuck!” she cries out, feeling that move push him the rest of the way in. 

“You forgot who’s in charge. Again.” He continues, bringing his hand down hard and smacking her ass. Cat had never been spanked during sex, had thought it distasteful and even degrading. So, it was yet another surprise to her when she responded with a loud moan, hands desperately clutching the sheets. 

“Oh, god, please…” she heard herself beg, without making any conscious decision to do so. Other than that one hard thrust, he’d kept their movement torturously slow. 

“Please what, kitten? Tell your alpha what you need.” He replied in that deliciously gruff drawl. 

“Please fuck me, Jacob.” She blurted, again without actually making any decision to do so. 

That was all that Jacob Seed needed to hear and he did not disappoint. Immediately shifting the pace, he began bucking his hips against hers hard and fast. Each one jolted her body and caused the headboard to loudly smack against the wall. Both of them were making enough noise that they were probably being heard by the prisoners outside. Jacob had, deliberately, reduced them both to wild animals. Intent on fucking until neither of them could move. 

Cat’s hands clung to the sheets like a lifeline, crying out his name repeatedly as if a prayer. He eventually moved his hands to her shoulders when she clenched around his cock, hitting her white hot release. He pounded her through it then let go of her shoulders, leaning down and biting her neck. He sucked on the bite, marking her, as his hips gave a final thrust and stuttered as he released. He moaned and removed his mouth from her neck, nuzzling her head then gently pulling out. 

Cat heard and felt him collapse next to her and did the same. Laying on her stomach, she turned her head to look at him as she started to catch her breath, dazed as she came down from her high. Sweat glinted on his skin in the moonlight. She watched his hairy chest rise and fall, getting steadier as he fell asleep without a word. She rolled to be more comfortable on her side after pulling the sheet up to cover them both. Before she knew it, she’d followed him into a deep sleep. 

\------------------------  
Cat woke slowly, steadily becoming acutely aware of all the aches in her body. They were good aches, yes, and she felt great, but they were still aches. With a sleepy groan, she rolled onto her other side to see a soundly resting Jacob Seed. He was still on his back, snoring, the expression on his face more peaceful than she’d thought was possible for him. Even with all the scars, he looked so much younger like this, innocent, even. For a moment, she was sure she saw the wounded pup that had been long buried in the wolf. 

Speaking of the wolf, he’d claimed her. She’d still have to work on building trust, yes, but he claimed her. There wasn’t a speck of doubt in her mind about that. That wasn’t just dirty talk, men like him didn’t loosely throw around such phrases as “my good girl” or “your alpha”. Part of her was terrified by that, knowing what he was capable of. Another part of her was delighted, proud, excited by it. Cat rested her hand over the new mark on her neck then reached over to set it atop the middle of his chest. 

The touch halted Jacob’s snoring and he took in a deep breath before opening his eyes. He turned his head to look at her after a moment, brows furrowed a bit. 

“We overslept. Sun’s too low, probably past lunchtime.” He states, voice groggy from sleep. 

“It was worth it, though.” Replies Cat, giving him a soft smile. He moves one of his massive hands to rest it atop hers on his chest for a moment. 

“I need food.” He says, then rolls out of bed, wandering to the bathroom. Cat doesn’t bother trying to hide that she’s eyeing him in all his naked glory. That tall, long, muscled body covered in layers of scars. 

She follows suit, getting out of bed and starting to get dressed. She’d hoped to lay around with him a bit, perhaps that was the romantic in her. However, she knew better than to expect pillow talk and cuddling from him. That would be affectionate, that would be vulnerability. Which, in the mind of Jacob Seed, meant weakness. 

Although moving a tad slower than he is, they’re both dressed at about the same time. She settles in a chair across from him on the balcony facing the south, facing the prisoner cages down in the courtyard below. It’s a humid day, the distant feeling of electricity in the air. Cat watches him bark orders for breakfast at one of the Cultists then suddenly remembers she’s his assistant, not his girlfriend. Even if they were fucking. She abruptly stands to go make him his coffee. 

“Where are you going?” he asks, looking at her like she’s grown two extra heads in the last ten seconds. 

“To… get your coffee.” 

“They can do that, sit down.” Jacob replies, motioning for her to return to her seat. She stared at him but swiftly sat back down. 

“Wait, I’m…not fetching you anything and I’m eating breakfast with you?” Cat asks, watching him yawn then sigh, his gaze on the caged prisoners in the courtyard. 

“If you’re gonna make a big deal about it, you can eat down there with them.” 

“No, no deals here.” She replies, smiling again, unable to help it. 

They ate in silence, Cat not wanting to push him any farther. It was good food, the best that she’d had here so far. The cooks probably were well aware that their lives relied on Jacob being satisfied with his meals. After she’d cleared her plate, and watched him eat an inhuman amount of eggs and sausage, she broke the silence. 

“So, what needs to be done today?” she asks, keeping her language business related. If he was more comfortable avoiding talking about what happened or acting as if nothing had changed, then she’d indulge him for now. 

“Well, I was gonna put together a hunting party. But it looks like Mother Nature is about to dump a whole load of shit on us.” He pointed to the southwest. Cat looked over to see storm clouds, dark as night, headed their way. 

“I love a good storm.” Cat says, turning back to him with a grin as he stands up. 

“I know you do.” He states, moving to leave the balcony. He reaches out and brushes his fingertips over the mark he left on her neck. Cat nearly shivers at the touch and then stands to follow him. 

By the time they reach the courtyard, the thunder is loud and the lightening is getting close. Jacob goes about barking orders for preparations for the storm. As the Cultists rush around, the rain begins to fall. It starts as sprinkles but soon is torrents, as if the heavens were dumping everything they had. The thunder seemed to shake the ground beneath them and lightening cracked across the sky. 

Cat tried to stay close to Jacob but the camp had turned chaotic. Everyone rushing in opposite directions. In this storm, with this chaos, it would be the perfect time. The part of her that was staying on mission realized that if she killed him now, during this mess, no one would know it was her. Hell, the rain was falling so hard that she could barely see 5 feet in front of her. Even when the shot was heard, no one would be able to tell where it came from. 

She made up her mind. Determined to do this now, before her traitorous thoughts and attraction bested her, she snagged a pistol from a passing Cultist. The man didn’t notice and kept on going. As Cat got close enough to know she’d hit her target, someone beat her to it. One of the “recently turned” Resistance members went for the back of Jacob’s head with a machete. 

In a split second, his instincts warning him, Jacob turned and caught the man’s wrist, stopping the motion of the blade. At that precise moment, something made his head explode, splattering Jacob with brain matter and blood. He blinked a few times, the rain already washing most of the mess off his face. The wolf turned to see Cat, an astounded look on her own face, still aiming the gun at where the man had been standing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed that, it was a lot longer than originally intended. I felt you all deserved a longer than usual chapter for how long you had to wait. Please leave me reviews on your way out! The good, the bad, the ugly. I want all of it. PS: I fiddled with the formatting a bit. I hope it improved. I wanted it spaced out a bit more to make it easier to read.


	5. It Will Come Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It can't be unlearned  
> I've known the warmth of your doorways  
> Through the cold, I'll find my way back to you  
> Oh please, give me mercy no more  
> That's a kindness you can't afford!  
> I want you baby tonight, as sure as you're born
> 
> You'll hear me howling outside your door..." - It Will Come Back by Hozier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a little while, I know, life got in the way. I hope you guys are still reading! Prepare for some angst.

The would-be-assassin dropped to the mud, his life gone before he hit the ground. Most of the Cultists were panicking, trying to figure out where the shot came from. Only the few near Jacob saw what had happened. 

Cat was still holding the gun, paralyzed except for her hands shaking. She'd just killed one of her own. Killed them for trying to do what she was supposed to be there to do. Killed them instead of aiming slightly to the right and completing her mission. What the hell was wrong with her? The answer to that question marched through the mud, putting his giant hand on the gun and forcing her to lower it. The rain had completely soaked him at this point, her as well. His blue eyes closely surveyed her, his hair matted to his head and beard dripping rainwater. 

"Was that a damn good shot or a damn near miss?" he asks, stepping closer to her, hand still on hers holding the gun. 

"He was going to kill you." she distantly heard herself saying, slowly coming out of shock. 

"You act like that's the first time you've killed one of your ex-allies." he states, gently taking the gun from her. 

"I guess I just didn't expect such a bold attack." she replies, gaining control over herself again. 

"That makes two of us." says Jacob, stowing the pistol in the back of his jeans. 

"What do you need me to do?" 

"Come with me." he replies, grabbing her arm and leading her back to the building. She wanted to ask more questions but wasn't sure she should. After a few minutes, they were back inside and up in his room. He shut and locked his door before letting her go and facing her. 

"Are you upset with me?" she finally asks. 

"No." he says, turning from her to go sit on the balcony again. 

"Then what is it?" asks Cat, following him out there, the rain still coming down hard. 

"The closer you are, the harder it is to lie. Come here." he motioned for her so she stepped over. Jacob reached out and grabbed her by the waist then turned her around, pulling her down onto his lap. 

"You think I'm lying." Cat states, hesitating for a moment then leaning back against his chest. She held her breath as he slid one hand around and down to rest it between her thighs. Jacob's other hand moved to her chest, resting it over her heart so he could feel how it was beating. 

"Your heart is racing, Kitten. Is it because you're lying?" he asks, his mouth by her ear, wet beard soft against her skin. 

"My heart's racing because of you." she replies, technically not lying. The man had one hell of an effect on her, had since the moment they met. 

"Because you're afraid of me?" he asks, fingertips lightly brushing against her neck. 

"No, because I still want you." she states, tone firm. Cat turned her head towards him just a little so that their faces lightly touched. She felt him hold his breath for a moment, tensing beneath her somewhat. Thunder rumbled and more lightening split the sky. 

"What was your life like before all this?" he asked, sounding sincerely curious. 

"Pointless. I didn't have good enough grades or money to go to college. I didn't have enough confidence or strength to complete the police academy. I wasn't enough of a woman to give my husband babies so he left me." Cat found it all spilled out so easily. She wasn't sure if that was due to him or the fact that she'd held it all in so long. 

"Then the storm came? The Father gave you purpose?" he asked, trying to finish the story for her. 

"No, you did." she replied, feeling him tense under her again. Her answer surprised even her but she found it was true. She wasn't just going through the motions anymore, she was finally feeling something more than bitterness and anger. For a moment, she could've sworn his hands clutched her tighter to him in response. 

"I suppose it's my turn. I spent my childhood protecting my brothers, then being taken from them. I found purpose again in the Army, then that was taken from me. I lived in a Veterans hospital then under bridges. Til Joe found me. He gave me purpose again." Jacob explained, sounding like his mind was far off, reliving those things as he watched the storm. 

While he was talking, Cat had subconsciously moved her hand atop his on her chest. She squeezed it when she felt him tilt his head and touch his lips to the mark he'd left on her neck. He moved his hands after a moment and she took her chance to turn on his lap, now facing and straddling him. 

"Do you want me or do you need me?" Jacob asks, letting her move and slide her arms around his neck. He reached behind her and set his hands on her ass, holding her in place. 

"I need you. But I'm still sore from last night..." she replied, leaning in to rest her head against his. He nudged her head to the side and grinned against her neck as he squeezed her ass. 

"Maybe I'll let you recover, then." he says, nipping at her neck before pulling his head back. 

Cat opened her mouth to reply but was stopped by a knock at the door. Jacob sighed and motioned for her to move off of him. He marched to the door, leaving a trail of rainwater as he went. She followed him back inside but kept by the desk. 

"What?" barks Jacob after flinging the door open. 

"It's John, Sir." says the Cultist, fidgeting a bit. 

"What about him?" 

"He's dead." 

Jacob just stares at the man, feeling something very similar to a sudden kick in the stomach. After a moment, he simply shuts the door and steps over to Cat. She'd heard what was said and reached out to him, setting her hands on his chest. Her lips were moving but at first he couldn't hear her over the ringing in his ears. 

"Jacob?" she asked again, he finally heard her this time. 

"Joseph will be coming. Funeral. You need to go back to your room." he replies, no emotion in his voice. Even the look in his eyes was empty. He'd just completely shut down. 

"Jacob, let me-" 

"Out. Now." he says, still using that blank tone. Every fiber of her being is telling her to stay, to comfort him. However, she knows better than to make him repeat himself again. Reluctantly, Cat removes her hands from his chest and leaves the room. 

\------------

Joseph did show up, as did Faith, and many of their Cultists. A pyre was built for John and all gathered around it in the mud. The Father told a few stories about the youngest Seed, openly shed tears, and reiterated that the Collapse was upon them. The fire was lit, everyone watched it burn in silence. 

Jacob never said a word. He'd closed himself off because that was the only way he knew how to grieve while remaining strong. Cat watched him from a distance like all the others. She'd assumed that John dying, his bunker blowing up, would make her happy. In a way it did, because she'd hated him. What it did to Jacob, though, was breaking her heart. 

She stayed with those beginning the clean up, staying so she could keep an eye on Jacob. He was sat at a table with Joseph and Faith. Cat stayed just close enough to hear their conversation and still seem like she was just another Cult member. 

"Would you like some bliss? It helps." Faith quietly offered, holding something out to Jacob. He didn't even look at it, just pushed her hand away. 

"I don't want any of that shit. I want some fucking whiskey." he replied, finally speaking again. 

"Brother, you know I don't care for that language or alcohol." says Joseph, voice soft and calm as always. 

"I don't really give a shit, Joe. This is your goddamn fault." snaps Jacob, not yelling but his tone is ice cold. 

"Jacob, this is painful but was meant to happen. Part of a bigger plan. You know that." explains Joseph, as patient as ever. 

"I ain't in the mood for your preaching. Ceremony's over. Go home, Joe." replies Jacob, standing from the table. Joseph stands as well, calculating gaze on his older brother. 

"You're grieving. I forgive you. You should get some rest. Goodnight, Jacob." The Father gives his shoulder a squeeze before starting to lead Faith away. Cat wants to rush to Jacob but catches the Father watching her. Apparently she'd been a little too obvious in keeping an eye on the Wolf. She averts her gaze and returns to cleaning up. By the time she risks looking over again, Joseph and Faith are gone. Unfortunately, so is Jacob. 

\------------

After brief internal panic, Cat had forced herself to not search for the man. He could hand himself and Jacob Seed did whatever he wanted to do. If he wanted to do something, God Himself probably couldn't stop him. Plus, if something happened to him, that was good for the mission, right? If the wilderness, grief, alcohol, an accident, or his own hand took him out of the game, that was her mission completed. A good thing. Right? 

Still, during the walk back to the main building, all her senses were on alert for any sign of him. Yet, there was none. Cat returned to her own room and began the waiting game. 

As the night went on, she tried to occupy herself by any means possible. Pacing grew old, reading Joseph's religious manifesto was infuriating, and she couldn't force herself to sleep no matter how tired she was. After miraculously finding a long forgotten deck of cards, she settled on playing Solitaire. The simple game kept her calm and occupied as time passed. 

Once she was well into her seventh game, she heard someone in the hallway. Footsteps from heavy boots passed her door, stopped. She heard Jacob's door be opened, then closed. Then the footsteps came to her door. As she stood up, her door was pushed open. Cat let out a sigh of relief as Jacob stumbled in. He was clearly drunk and drowning in grief but he was alive. His clothes were dirty and there were some new, dried bloodstains on them but they didn't appear to be from him. 

"Why're you in here?" he slurred, his voice more of a Southern drawl than ever, staring at her. 

"You told me to return to my own room, remember? Because of the Father being here." she explained in a soft tone, walking over to him. He grunted and stumbled back out to the hallway, motioning for her to follow. 

"Fuck Joe and his stupid, goddamn rules. You stay with me." slurred Jacob, using the wall to help him keep balance as he made his way into his room. Cat hurried after him, pausing only to shut off her light and close her door. She pulled his door shut behind her when she stepped in then stayed at his side to make sure he didn't fall. Despite the fact that anything she tried to do to stop the giant man's fall would just pull her down, too. 

"Over here, Jacob, the bed." said Cat, doing what she could to guide him. He made it there without arguing and dropped to sit. 

"You know, Johnny used to have night terrors when he was little. He couldn't never go back to sleep unless I held him and sang old country songs." Jacob muttered, tiredly watching her untie his boots and pull them off his feet. Cat pulled his socks off, too, then stood in front of him. 

"Jacob, I'm so sorry." she whispered, feeling a lump form in her throat at the agony in his eyes. She pushed his military shirt off of his shoulders. He just sat there, letting her take care of him. 

"He never wanted things to go this far. But he was always tryin to impress Joe." explained Jacob, his voice very much like that of a whimpering canine. He lazily lifted his arms to help get his t-shirt off. 

"Jacob, you need to sleep." said Cat, gently pushing at his shoulders until he laid down. Once he did, she settled on the other side of the bed. Only a few moments after she laid down, he rolled onto his side and curled into her, his head against her chest. 

"Don't leave." he muttered, slinging an arm over her.

It took Cat a moment to process the fact that he was literally clinging to her for comfort. She slid her arms around him and held his head to her chest. The part of her still loyal to the Resistance was screaming that now was the best opportunity to kill him. However, that part of her wasn't as loud or as strong as it once was. Cat easily ignored it and fell asleep with a wounded Wolf in her arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed! As always, I'll update as soon as I possibly can. Please feel free to leave me comments, your comments fuel me.


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